Hey guys! So I have decided to do another series type thing. So since my sophomore year of high school, I have dealt with some situations that have definitely tested my strength, control, willpower and religion. Through all that I wold occasionally write down little blurbs about how I was feeling in the moment that way I would have something to look back on. Now while that definitely helped over the years I think I want to out them on here because anybody who reads them might realize that they aren’t the only ones who feel this way. It’s nice to know that somebody else out there gets it and sometimes they can put into words what you simple can’t. This will be my first post of the “Let’s Get Intimate” series. With these posts, I am going to try to post a picture with it of me during the time period I wrote it. Some of these are long and some are pretty short, but feel free to talk to me about them. It’s about to get personal.
In this first one I am probably just 18.
“Sometimes I feel like the choices I make disappoint my family. It’s the looks on their faces or the words they aren’t saying that make me uneasy about what I say or do. With all they have had to put up with because of me and my mom, I can’t stand the feeling of disappointing them. It makes me feel all down in the dumps for lack of better words. It’s just hard to get up and do all the things they want me to. Get a job, buy a car, pay for my own things. I know that sounds bratty and spoiled but that’s just how it feels. The way I’m thinking of it is that I’m 18 and I have to do all of this on my own without help from my parents. I’ve had to act like the adult since my freshman year really. Sometimes it’s just hard for me to let go of being a kid because that’s what I still am, and because of my parents I haven’t been able to live like one. I never got to live.”