Today is the day. I knew it was coming. I was dreading it. Although still hopeful that it wouldn’t. Getting the text was like ice rushing through my veins. “She’s having a really hard time right now..” I knew what was happening before I even finished reading. Depression. Again. It’s something that has been happening with my mom since I was 16. We have been on a good streak. She has been happy. Funny. Silly. Now?
I called her between classes. Crying. She believes she is a failure. I tell her she’s not. She says sorry for every little thing, even crying. I tell her she doesn’t have to. It doesn’t help/.
Hands shaking as I write this and I feel the same way I do every. single. time. this happens. I’m 21 years old and I’m scared to “lose” my mom. That is exactly how it feels.
Sounds a little selfish of me considering everything she is going through right now. I just know I will be the only one to see it all and the only one to pick up the pieces. Everyone else like to give her a big enough radius. As if they will catch it or something if they get to close. I hate that they aren’t there for her.